I've decided. I'm putting in too much emotions into them and... they don't deserve it. It was already promised that we will all go down today but yet no one did. They didn't clear the flagpole. I had to painstakingly carry everything from the primary school field back to the spar room and all I got was an ignorance and a flare? Seriously? I'm a senior. I could have just left even without waiting but I waited for so long. I bothered clearing everything because I know that you guys will get scolded. The table was left untouched and I carried it back alone. No one knew that. I carried everything back. No one knew that. And yet what I'm getting is ignorance and anger at me? I'm not expecting any hampers thanking for my hardwork, but my point is that at least I do deserve a "sorry and thank you" right? You all broke a simple promise. That is already bad enough and I get flared at when its not my fault? Hello, please get your facts right. I'm just disappointed at them. Very disappointed. I don't think they even knew that I cleared everything. Or maybe they do but they just don't want to acknowledge that. What am I training exactly? Humans or ungrateful brats? I don't know. It just hurts me so badly to know that people who are younger than me treat my words lightly and just treat my presence as a joke. I don't have to be like that. I shouldn't be like that. But I choose to be like that. I am really just disappointed in myself and them. I've failed so badly. But they just threw away my trust I had in them just like that... I always thought that this batch may be something different and I will be proud to say that I am their instructor but it seems like I'm wrong. This batch is just like any other batch. If so, I probably shouldn't waste anymore time on them and focus on my own stuffs.
Xuda
認清自己的本份.
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